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Theresa MayBot to be reassigned, confirms Zuckerberg

Picture: Matt McClain/The Washington Post via Getty Images
Today Mark Zuckerberg confirmed that the AI Prime Minister Theresa May will be redeployed to Myanmar in order to strengthen Facebook’s efforts to ethnically cleanse the country.

Zuckerberg, being interviewed at his secret gaff in Oakland, California, gave a rare, candid insight into the Firm’s vision for Myanmar.

“When we first began working on the MayBot we had high hopes that she’d be able to ethnically cleanse the poor from Britain, but that project was largely derailed by Brexit. It was designed to focus only on non-whites. If I’m honest, MayBot was never meant to be a prime minister. We at Facebook are very proud of the way that we managed to update her code to meet the needs of our users. Obviously we had to greatly expand the scope of the project which was initially simply to make Britain a more hostile environment for homegrown and Commonwealth paupers.”

When pushed for answers as to how MayBot would be used to aid genocidal efforts against Myanmar’s dwindling Rohingya community Zuckerberg was quick to point to Facebook’s impressive history of making life a living hell for minorities the world over.

“We’ve done a great job of destroying privacy and community wherever we find it. Coupled with our unique ability to foster hatred of marginalised groups, we strongly believe that we can continue to use MayBot to erase individualism and unique cultures, in pursuit of creating a world truly connected through Facebook.”

Asked why Mrs. May had been designed with 1960’s firmware, Mr. Zuckerberg referenced a 1964 Conservative Party slogan, of which, he said with a wink, he was particularly fond.

“If you want a nigger for a neighbour, vote Liberal or Labour” smiled Zuckerberg “we wanted to hark back to those golden days really.”

Turning to Zuckerberg’s wife, we pressed her to explain how she could possibly sleep at night, having such a full view of her husband’s misdemeanours.

“Well” replied Ms. Chan, smiling, “MarkBot.. Eh.. Mark.. has been working on a wonderful little box with a light in it to help me to rest while he’s on charge.”

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